a description of the amazing and exciting adventures i have here in baltimore--- and other lies.

 
Old and busted: "I can't believe this is my life!"

New Hotness: "I can't believe I am going to Ireland!"

I applied for my passport a mere three weeks ago, and the Man sent it to me Thursday. I am going to Ireland!
posted by gregorio at 9:23 PM

 
At least jury duty wasn't a complete waste of time. I got to study some chinese, practice writing same. Got $15 for my trouble, so I went to Quisnos (not to my taste, I like Blimpies better), got some lunch on the man's dime, and with the remainder bought a spanish grammar book. Quoth Viki: Al fino!

Sat in the room, didn't get called for a trial, went home. Then the next day my boss got mad at me for not leaving her a message reminding her (even though I told her, oh, maybe fifty times that I had jury duty tuesday) that I would not be at work, due to civic duty.

Because people don't pay attention to a goddam thing I say, the opinion was that, not having shown up to work,I had died, in a murderous attack.

Alas, no.
posted by gregorio at 2:31 PM

 
Easter Sunday, from now on, will be treated by me as a holiday, where I do not go to work. It will, instead, be a day where I eat ham, and lots of it.
Or lamb.
Probably both.

On another note, Bob Hope had his "100th" Birthday Party last night. Sam Kinnison, Bill Hicks, they're dead. Bob Hope however, is still alive.

BOB HOPE WILL EAT YOUR SKIN!
posted by gregorio at 3:19 PM

 
2000 years ago the proudest boast was, "quivis romanus sum."
Today, in the world of fear, the bravest post is: "Ich bin ein Berliner."

(sorry, jfk.)
posted by gregorio at 9:22 PM

 
-I want a hamburger. No, a CHEESEburger. And, a hot dog, and a milkshake and a sundae......

-YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!


ahhhh. Ted Knight at his finest.


posted by gregorio at 9:22 PM

 
the truest thing i have read in a while is on this site: http://www.gapingvoid.com/

viz, "when a girl says, 'let's just be friends', what she really means is, 'please fill in the gaps left by the guys i'm currently fucking.'"
sage, sage words.
posted by gregorio at 5:07 PM