a description of the amazing and exciting adventures i have here in baltimore--- and other lies.

 
Drew Curtis' FARK has brought me great joy in the past, but today's link of the The Random Dr. Phil Quote Generator has really tickled me pink. For those of you who are fortunate enough not to know who this latest in psychiatric bottom feeding is, Dr. Phil McGraw:

Life Strategist Dr. Phillip C. Mcgraw hosts nationally syndicated series Dr. Phil. Known to millions as the human behavior expert from The Oprah Winfrey Show, Dr. Phil is also a #1 New York Times best-selling author and co-founder of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., the world's leading litigation consulting firm. Drawing on 25 years of experience in psychology and human functioning, Dr. Phil deals with real issues in his signature "tell-it-like-it-is" style. (from his website)

the "tell it like it is" style is, by and large, his incoherent, rambling, folksy sayings. imagine dan rather as a head shrinker, and you got it.
anyway, the The Random Dr. Phil Quote Generator is quite the hoot, producing gems like:

You don't need broken fingers to join the Jehovah's Witnesses.
You don't need Dr. Phil's permission to cry a lot.
You don't need Anna Nicole Smith to get drunk and pass out.

and my favourite, "You don't need a badger to throw a brick at a turtle."

the question one often asks oneself after seeing these asshats on tv is usually: "how did this moron get a show?"
the question one should really ask is: "who are their agents, and what are their numbers?"

posted by gregorio at 4:36 PM