a description of the amazing and exciting adventures i have here in baltimore--- and other lies.

 
This last week has been a doozy. Snow, sleet, ice, Baltimore's complete inability to prepare for inclemet weather, playing hookey from my job to see a free movie (Monster)
but paying $25 to eat tapas beforehand because they said there would be free catering but there was not, meeting this cute girl who I would like to make, finding out that it was her birthday and doing part of her Chinese Astrology chart that evening, falling on the ice because of the stupid bricks on the Johns Hopkins Campus are completely treacherous in winter, learning Japanese, feigning illness, and One Word Cafe.
posted by gregorio at 8:07 PM

 
If you don't live every moment of your life, you may find yourself dying every day.


posted by gregorio at 6:35 PM

 
Ahem.

I AM ALL ABOUT THE FACT THAT MY BOY TEDDY KENNEDY WAS ROLLING HIS EYES AND VISIBLY MUTTERING UNDER HIS BREATH WHILE THE MAN-WHO-IS-THE-FIGUREHEAD-OF-THE-RULING-JUNTA WAS MAKING HIS STUMP SPEECH FOR RE-ELECTION, AS OPPOSED TO GIVING A STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS!

And I didn't think the old boy had it in him. So, for all of you subjected to the horror, my apologies, but do not apologize for George W. "Soon-to-be-one-term-like-his-dad" Bush.
posted by gregorio at 6:45 PM

 
One of the only points of agreement I have with Enemy Mine is our refusal to bend when it comes to correct punctuation. For the past few months, I have had the great fortune to teach a composition and conversation class for my ESOL students, and it has been here that I have raised the clarion call for the serial comma.

This fight is the good fight. All bets concerning spelling, however, are off.
posted by gregorio at 9:00 PM

 
I have been studying Chinese Astrology lately. The cards I bought which help me to determine one's hororscope go far beyond the restaurant placemat "you are a tiger" or "you are an ox." I have been able to cast out various personality traits using the methods, and, while it has not gotten me any sex, it has gotten me free beer. Which, in my world, is pretty much the same.

Later posts will have your Chinese Horoscope recomendations.
posted by gregorio at 6:40 PM

 
Fourteen years is a long time to be at sea. More often than not, blue replaced green, and he nearly forgot what the word "field" meant. At night, he would dream his lanky appendages became sleek fins, and his peregreinations from ocean to sea to bay as natural as tramping from field to village to urb is for the wanderers of terestrial nature. In many ways, he found himself more like the great fish he hunted than the men on board who hunted with him. If he had been a shark in his former life, he would not be surprized. More shocking is that he is a man, now. "Oh, great beast! Why is it my fate to spill your blood rather than be kin to it?"
posted by gregorio at 7:27 PM

 
Before Al Gore invented the internet, the best that crazed individuals could do to spread their message was to either shout
from streetcorners wearning placard, or to post notices on telephone posts, mail boxes, and the like. In 1995, as a goof, I made one myself, predicting, amoung other things, that Bob Dole would win the 1996 presidential election (back when we had elections), and, after inauguration, reveal that he is a cyborg. I also stated that the government was using waves to control the people. I asked: "is it not surprizing that THE WAVE is such a popular thing at bread-and-circus-like sporting events?" I told people to call a fake-o number for the institute of Higher Empathy.

Gone are those days! Now, no longer need we plead to uncaring crowds, and preach our madness to the uncaring sheep!
Now, we no longer need to poster bathroom walls and bar-room chairs! We have the internet! Observe here and here

Be scared. Be very a-scared.
posted by gregorio at 3:49 PM

 
Merry Epiphany, everyone. Today is the day the Magi visit Jesus, to affirm that the most wise must bow down to the humble but godly. Where the gifts of gold for kingship,frankinsence for worship and myrrh for burial are symbolic of the gifts we bring to others, for we are part of their life, their holiness, their majesty, and the death of the worst part of the self to make room for the best. I wish all of you to find the gifts and give them to your friends, and, most importantly, yourself.
posted by gregorio at 10:21 PM