a description of the amazing and exciting adventures i have here in baltimore--- and other lies.

 
I don't think Gigli is the worst film I have ever seen. It certainly is disappointing, but not the worst.
That honour goes to films that are just plain stupid, not ones which fail to deliver, or ones thats fault is simply poor production values. Plan 9 From Outer Space is an example of the latter: the plot is pretty insane, but some of the dialog is inspired and meant to be thought provoking. Granted the acting is so stiff you could make a fence out of it, but basically it is a badly rushed movie, which, if given half a chance, could be done right. Ok maybe not that movie, but with better actors, or more takes, or something, it wouldn't be so.... mockable.

Gigli is wrong, because you have a good director directing badly, a good actor acting poorly, and J-Lo. Take away only one of these, and it would have been a much better flick. (I vote J-Lo.)

For the record, Freddie Gets Fingered is the worst, with Manos, Hand of Fate close behind. I would rather watch J-Lo perform Shakespeare than these abominations.
Can you see her as Juliet? I can, in my nightmares.

posted by gregorio at 8:39 PM

 
My archest of arch enemies tipped me off to this website:
vote to impeach the "president"
He recommends we sign the website. I will do better and recommend the same: print out the petition and GO OUT AND GET SIGNATURES!
Print out a few copies, let people who donot have internet access about the movement.
I will update you on this as I have news.
posted by gregorio at 2:32 PM

 
Yesterday, I received my copy of the 1977 classic, Star Wars Holiday Special. I have not been able to watch it all the way through, because it is two hours long, and it really should be watched in a group. So, even though it is only August, for all those interested, I will have a special viewing of this remarkably watchable copy of the show. Please let me know if you are interested in coming, and we can all figure out a time. Even if we cant do it until near Christmas, that is fine, since it is a holiday special.
The show itself is fairly interesting, and actually quite touching in some parts. It revolves around the Wookie tradition of "Life Day", I suppose analogous to Christmas on Kashyyyk, and the troubles Han Solo and Chewbacca have in coming home to a waiting, loving family. It also has the commercials from 1977, which is worth even more than the show in some ways, because it really tells us how much tv and capatalism have changed over the last 25 years. I had also forgotten that the premiere of Boba Fett was done in cartoon form, and I had mercifully forgotten two of the songs in the show. But now all of it is in my possession, and this treasure is worth gold to me.

And where, you may inquire, did i find this masterpiece? EBAY, of course!


posted by gregorio at 7:20 PM

 
Ever notice how you can say the meanest, cruelest things, and yet get away with it by adding the tag line,
"hey, I'm just trying to keep it real!"

Try it out. Be meaner than Joan Rivers at a fashion show. Be meaner than Joan Crawford at a wire coat-hanger factory. Make Mr T believe that he, himself, is worthy of pity.

And then, "hey man, I'm just trying to keep it real."

All will be forgiven.
posted by gregorio at 12:17 PM

 
Well, that job in special collections is a no-go. Well, they lose.

Therefore, we will work on "Fall In New York" in earnest, finish up my MLA, and plan my trip to China, all as I teach English composition at the GHCC.

Furthermore, in addition to aphorisms, we will also offer the occassional "You Ain't Never Gonna Hear" segments.
For example, YANGH: Erin C. say,"Aw, fucking rice AGAIN?!!!(because the inside joke on that is that EC once said, "God, it's been two days since I have eaten rice, I have to eat some.")
Or, Donald Rumsfeld: "Sit down, you look tired."--- because the inside joke on that is that DR thinks anyone
who sits is lazy. He, himself works, eats, and indubitably sleeps standing up.

I wish I could be making that up.

posted by gregorio at 1:23 PM

 
I had an awesome meeting today concerning the film I wish to produce/direct, Fall In New York. As I flesh out the details of the script, I hope to post some of it here, both for my own protection and your reading pleasure. Viki has promised to help me with dialogue, and, of course, any suggestions from you guys would be welcome indeed.

The meeting was with the person I hoped would be my lead actress, and she has agreed to do the part, which means now I have to get it together. But, I have had many good coincidences with the project so far, and this has been very encouraging. The more I work on it, the more it seems do-able. For example, I ran into a guy I have not seen for a while on Friday. Well, "running into" is and isn't correct to say, insofar as he is in the bar all the time, but I did not go there to talk to him specifically. When he heard how my life is going these days, and that I was working on this project, he volunteered to help, and also let me know that he knew some people connected with the Maryland Film Commission, which will help me big time.

Then, today, when I was talking to my lead, another guy approached me, saying he had overheard me talking. He is a photographer, and wants to get into film work too. He may well end up being my Director of Photography/Cinematographer.

Can you imagine if I pull this off? I waver between "Oh, Man! This is AWESOME!" and "I have no idea what the fuck I am doing."
I have a lot of support so far, and good people to help me. I may just be ok.

To quote Hannibal Smith, from the A-Team: "I love it when a plan comes together!"
posted by gregorio at 6:23 PM

 
I have been reading a lot about how to make movies, and I think I can pull this off.

Here is an interesting tidbit tho': in two different, disparate sources, I have read that dentists make the biggest suckers--- I mean investors--- for films. My friend K----a"s friend, whom I have met, is a dental hygenist, and therefore has access to these types. K is herself an accountant, or has been in the past, and can help with the money. So, all I gotta do is get all the pieces together, and film stardom, here I come!

My greatest hope is this:
1) become independant movie maker
2) become a film star myself
3) pick up the pieces when afleck and jlo split for good
4) profit!

I will then have enough money to hire someone to kill quentin tarrentino, and the world will be better for everyone.

posted by gregorio at 7:54 PM

 
I keep running into the same characters day after day. And not people I necessarily like either. The latest in a series of freak shows without the tent is this guy, Brooks. Not "Brook", nor "Brooke" but Brooks. He comes up to me, really out of the blue, and asks me if I can help him out with getting a job at the libarary. Now, don't forget, I want to leave the library myself. I am not about to go running around for anyone, let alone someone who just starts stealing my life away from me and not offering anything in return, trying to get them a job here. But here comes this guy, off the street, while I am eating my cheesesteak outside of CC's, having a good time chatting with the owner (the AWESOME Mr Park!), trying to get me to get him get a job.

So, ok, one chance encounter with one anoying idiot. But now, I can't shake him. THe next day I see him and he asks me, "Did you see Ken F. at the library and tell him about me?"
"No."
"Do you think you will soon?"
"No."
"Well, could you?"

No.

There's another guy I see all the time, a friend of a friend, who is around the neighborhood, and if I don't dodge him he will tell me ALL ABOUT HIS AA PROGRAMME, like I care. Do I see my friend? Never. But this one? ALL THE TIME. Not like once in a while either, it's got to be almost every other day.

And the worst thing is, I rarely run into people I want to see, or would like to see. I only get the nutballs.

As a final note, if I see Brooks again, and he asks me about getting a j-o-b at the MSE, I will look him square in the eye and ask him, "What do I get out of this?" Because there is nothing for free anymore with me, unless you are really my friend: someone I care about--- fewer and fewer people each day. Maybe I should make some sort of litmus test, to see if you are really a friend, or just someone I know. Please let me know your suggestions. If they are good, I will test run them, with results posted in the future.

But no matter what it is, why does my gut tell me Brooks will not pass it?

posted by gregorio at 9:27 PM

 
I find out on friday whether or not the job I applied to will become mine. I have worked in the Circulation Department for too many years, and feel I have wasted so much of my time in this crummy job. I have seen seven different co-workers come and go, and I really am not very fond of the ones I have now.

I still think I need a back up plan if this job doesn't pan out. If it does, I will be more than ecstatic. Basically, the project, which only lasts a year, lets me watch tv for a living. Now, when the grant ends in august 2004, so too the job, and I would be forced to find other employ. But there is nothing like not having a job that makes you want to get one.

However, my guess is that I will not be offered the possition. I have gone through the interview, which went not bad, but even though I believe I am the best candidate, others may disagree.

Therefore, I will be on pins and needles all week.
posted by gregorio at 8:58 PM