a description of the amazing and exciting adventures i have here in baltimore--- and other lies.

 
For many years, each year, my parents would receive a Christmas card with a photocopy (later, computer printed) letter from my father's former buddy in college and his wife, the Cooleys. My mom hates these people. Never realizing this, they insisted on sending not only a Christmas card, but a wedding anniversary card to my parents. This especially drove my Mom bananas.

The letters were never great examples of prose, no lyrical exposes, not even a hint of exoticity. Just your run of the mill, hi-we-went-here-and-so-and-so-had-a-baby-and-we-visited-these-people-and-our-daughter/son-got-married-and/or-had-children-and-isn't-life-wonderful-thank-god-for-us-being-alive letters. I make this pledge to you, my friends, if I stoop so low as to include a letter into Christmas cards, I will definitely come up with better material. Along the lines of hi-I-sacrificed-ten-virgins-this-year-killed-a-few-babies-rewrote-the-constitution-became-king-of-siam-made-my-multibillion-company-go-public-with-employees-having-first-dibs-at-stock-options-ran-for-president-wrote-the-great-american-novel-cured-cancer-and-finally-got-laid-isn't-life-wonderful-thank-god-for-us-being-alive kinds of deals.

But my Mom never got this kind of letter from the Cooleys.
Me, being of irrepressible wit and sly inteligence, named the famed letter the
"Cooley-tros." For it was our albatros around our necks, and every year the letter would arrive, to haunt us. And, every year, my Mom would make a point of telling me
when the Cooley-tros had come, and read it (or let me read it when I would come for
the holidays) with relish. Then, she would proceed to dish on the Cooleys, their pedestrian life, how Jim Cooley may have worked for NASA, but he was sure no rocket
scientist, that the boy was an idiot and the daughter a silly fool.

My Mom ceased to send them cards, but they would send my parents cards. Two Christmases ago, we did not get a Cooley-tros. My mom greatly rejoiced, and last year noticed the lack of letter. This year, we also got nothing, but my mom made no comment. Perhaps they finally got the message we didnot care about their messages.
posted by gregorio at 7:59 PM

 
Happy Christmas, and I hope you all got good cheer.

One finds wisdom and inspiration in the most unlikely of places. For me, it was in church.
Over the course of the last few weeks, in the Archdiocese of Boston, the Catholic Churches have been praying for "the image of family and of marriage, between a man and a woman." I believe the impetus for this prayer, inserted in the petitions, is the recent decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Court to allow marriages to same sex couples.
My mom is bullshit about this. She cannot believe the Church would behave so callously to its gay parishoners, of which there are quite a few in my parents' church (which just happens to be the seat of the Diocese of Springfield). These same people also happen
to be neighbors of ours, and good friends. I wondered, at times, whether I was dealing
with a short Polish woman or a short Korean woman, as I swear she was channeling
Margaret.

Hard on the heels of this, on Sunday, one of the more conservative of priests in my
parish, a very liberal parish, and muy muy muy gay friendly, gave a thoughtful sermon
on Trinity Sunday about family. The salient points are that:
-family is not blood. Family is the collection of people you gather around
you, the ones you care about the most. It is not genetics only.
-family can be very stressful, but the keys to dealing with family is to
be humble, to forgive one another, and to be patient with one another.
When one can get beyond the self, and look to the other, we can find a truly
happy family.

So there you have it. My mom is Margaret Cho, and I found wisdom in the Church. We
are truly in the end times.

posted by gregorio at 8:58 PM

 
You are always paying love forward. The trick, I guess, is learning to cope with this.
posted by gregorio at 7:53 PM

 
Cold grey winter day
The trees, nude of leaves, weeping
From rain falling down
posted by gregorio at 6:02 PM

 
When historians look back at the turn of the 21st century, they will, no doubt, liken it to the last days of Rome. There will be major differences between the two, however.
In the final days of the Roman Republic there were statesmen who feared for the direction of politics. While the wise words of Cicero were not heeded at the time, we have his words for posterity, and they are magnificent examples of oratory.

We have Howard Dean, who flubs his words trying to make a point of about the Stars-and-Bars.

Ah, Marcus Tullius, quondo tui verbi auscultabimus: nervos belli, pecuniam infinitam.

posted by gregorio at 8:53 PM

 
It was on my third tour of the Pequod. We had sailed a thousand leagues east of the Malvinas and for six months not seen a single leviathan. I met there a grizzled veteran of five voyages, two wars and three marriages, of which he insisted the last category was the most fearsome. He could drink a keg of rum for breakfast and a keg of whiskey for lunch, and drank kegs of port when he was "pacing himself." He was so grizzled he had once fought a bear holding a shark, by biting the shark and killing the bear with a toothpick and a pair of tweezers he had somehow fashioned into a gun. He claimed it was called "Greenpeace" because he had knocked out all of the other pieces, and that was the only one left. One day we hit a storm so violent, it would blanch a man from the Congo into a spectre so white as to rival snow. A night so violent as to make Achilles cry out for Thetis to save him. A night so cruel as to make Job abondon God. And, as the ship rocked the most trepiditously in an evening of sickening yaws, I turned to him and said, "Man, d'ye think we'll last the night?" He looked at me and said, with a twinkle in his eye which would make Puck shudder,
"You don't go looking for box, boy! Box, he come lookin' for you!"
Then he rolled over and fell into a sleep as peaceful as the the baby Jesus.

When things are at their darkest, I remember this, and it lifts me to glory.
posted by gregorio at 4:29 PM

 
When I was younger, I loved to watch science fiction shows. I would sneak Star Trek whenever I could, I loved Planet of the Apes (even though I would not understand the underlining message until many years later) and I thought Battlestar Galactica was super. I had a lot of the action figures for these shows, and Star Wars, and Space 1999.

However, Phantom Menace, Atack of the Clones, POTA re-done with Markie Mark, and some of the Trek movies ("What does God need with a Starship?") have made me jaded against any re-make of my beloved childhood classics. SciFi network has done a lot to cement the oldies in my head, as they played Galactica and Trek alot, and even played the abomninable Galactica 1980, which was as painful to watch as I thought it would be, and a lot stupider than I remember.

With that said, the remake of Battlestar Galactica is far more thoughtful and far less
cheesy than I expected it to be. I have not read any other blog concerning this matter,
at least as of yet, and I will not go looking for it. I cannot tolerate fanboys and their
nonsense for too terribly long, and have lost patience with any and all LOTR freaks
who make it their life's work to find picayune mistakes in the movie adaptations of
Tolkien's books. The remake of BA is fairly thoughtful, and it seems to address some
of the issues of today, e.g., the tensions between military and civilian in a crisis, the
issue of women in command of executive office, the larger fear of technology abused
by humans coming back to haunt us. In the original series, the Cylons were a
reptillian race who traded skin for metal and became cybornetic organisms. In the new
version, the robots are created by us and then subsequently abused by humans.
They exact their revenge in terms of war, and after costly losses for both sides, come
to detante. This is where we have the tension, of man vs. the machine he created, akin
to your Frankenstein's monster or golem more than Terminator.

But the miniseries hints that we reap what we sow. I have to watch tonight to see the
resolution to the crisis. More analysis tomorrow.

However, the actual point I wanted to make was that pop continues to eat itself, but
it is not always bad. I will talk more about this in the next installment, but, as we read
in Ecclesiates:“The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.” (1:1-3)
So let pop eat itself; we didn't start the fire.




posted by gregorio at 8:26 PM

 
This year has been full of people I know who have gotten married or engaged. Most of these marriages are those
of convenience, rather than love. Of my two cousins, one married for love, the other just to be married. Of the friends I know, they have all married someone who asked them to get married, and I believe they all agreed because they feel that everyone else they know is hitched,so they should be too. The latest friend to get engaged falls in this category as well.
My parents have given up on me getting married. I have too, because I donot wish to make the same "settlement of the heart" that these other people have. I believe I may be eternally single, but, let's face it, I have not exactly met a lot of winners. I would rather be on my own than stuck with a life full of resentment and hate. Which is why I ask all my homosexual friends, "do you really want matrimony in your life?" People who get
married change, even those who tie the knot after having shacked-up for years. So, have the wedding. Go out, buy the streamers and napkins. Will that be a substitute when they do nothing you like, and you are no longer attracted to them? Divorce is costly, my friends. Denying the marriage bond to gay couples may be the best gift we breeders can give you after all.
posted by gregorio at 6:52 PM

 
I have been playing around with Friendster lately, and, try as I may, I have yet to have more than five degrees of separation between me and the 86,997 people with whom I am now currently connected. Go ahead, try and see; if you can do it, I want to see the link.

Perhaps, at some point, there will only be four degrees of separation, as we Friendsters become more and more incestuous.
posted by gregorio at 5:21 PM

 
The course of this morning gave me great pause, and the questions posed while living it still remain unanswered. As I walked into the video store, the employees were unpacking movie posters for Lord of the Rings. Not the cheap ones, the kind they make for a penny yet for which charge $15, and you still have to mount them, but the real posters sent to the theaters. They had scored quite a few, as part of a promotion which they are joining with the City paper to raffle off tickets to the movie. I got my flicks, and the manager asked me if I would like a poster or two. They ended up giving me five. Why this bounty? Because, according to K., the manager, "this gentleman is one of the only consistantly nice customers we have."

What gave me to wonder is, I don't think myself exceptional. I walk in Video Americain, I make chit-chat, I give correct change when I can, I say please and thank you. I even wait my turn patiently. In other words, I donot do anything I would consider extraordinary; indeed, I am only being simply courteous and polite. But, I am afraid, politesse is a lost art these days.

I thanked them, and went home. One of the videos I rented is Bruce Almighty, which is worth a watch. Indeed, while watching it, I became rather guilty. One of the messages of the film, missed by all the evangelical types, is that it is not easy being God. Especially when dealing with us humans. Bruce initially does right only by himself, which, if you watch carefully, causes havok in other peoples' lives. He learns in the end how difficult a job it is to be omnipotent, but handcuffed by we people having free will. Finally, we learn, what have you done for anyone lately.

Now, this is where it gets tricky: having been rewarded for simply being nice, and then being asked, "what have you done lately to deserve any munificence?"( the answer being, of course, "not much."),
leads me to wonder how being nice can be enough?

It can't be that. Can the simple fact that we smile at a stranger, or make a person we don't know laugh, or even not make someone we do know cry make us worhty of any bounty, either on the temporal or
spiritual plane? And, why do I feel so guilty? Maybe this latter is the real question.
posted by gregorio at 9:38 PM

 
I believe I am correct, but it could be that I am wrong. I take great comfort in accepting this.
posted by gregorio at 7:30 PM

 
I have not had an opportunity to blog recently, so my thoughts will come in a few parts. If you wish to read them on different days, feel free.

Part I: Three cheers for my home state, the Commonwealth of Massachussetts, which has declared the ban on homosexual marriages illegal
My recommendation: buy real estate in Northampton, and use it as either a bed and breakfast, or a larger place
with a huge first floor could accomodate wedding receptions. they have some nice homes for sale. Please refrain from being gauche, and buying the one on Fruit street.


Part II: My eagerly anticipated response from Margaret. Hear the audio of her on gay marriage!

Part III: As the followup to this, I want to recommend that MM and PC start attending the Episcopalean
church. By entering their communion, they can race to Mass(achussetts), get married, and then still receive the sacraments in the Roman Church, if they visit their relatives.
If you excuse the pun, it is the perfect back door!


erratum: on sunday, november 16, 2003 we wrote, "Try as I might, I have yet to see any examples of vagina dentata." This should read "Try as I might, I have yet to see any examples of vaginae dentatae." We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.
posted by gregorio at 1:44 PM

 
Gawker, my favourite New-York-gossip-and-celebrety-watch page, makes a report about Alec Baldwin.
Man, I want to be famous like AB. He was "looking pretty grey, old and boring but sober and was very courteous to the bar staff. He was with an attractive Japanese lady in her 30s."

I'm pretty courteous to bar staff. I look pretty grey, old and boring. Where is my attractive lady in her 30's?
posted by gregorio at 7:52 PM

 
Try as I might, I have yet to see any examples of vagina dentata. Of course, the sweetest kittens have the
sharpest claws, but I am afraid it ends there.
I guess all the emasculation will have to be done emotionally, as usual.
posted by gregorio at 7:56 PM

 

posted by gregorio at 9:53 PM

 
I've decided that the correct carreer move for me would be to move to New York and open up a coffee bar. The name? Latte Lenya.

If this doesn't work, I will open a carry out, and call it Lucy Brownbag.
posted by gregorio at 8:53 PM

 
1.Revolutions tried to do too much, and we got a weak love story for our trouble.

2.Dolphins are murderers. Follow:
A. meat is murder, and fish is meat
B. meat eaters are murderers if
a. eat when not absolutely necessary
b. are sentient beings (self-aware)
C. Dolphins are sentient and are intelligent, possesing
larger brains than humans, and are thus more intelligent
than homo sapiens
D. dolphins in captivity will eat any fish given them, and they
know they are taking food from less intelligent beings
E. dolphins therefore eat when they have opportunity, as
well as at regular feeding times
F. because of C and B, we can conclude that dolphins are
murderers, if murderers eat that which they murder, as
meat is murder

I say, death penalty to dolphins! Greenpeace and hippies: rebuttal?


posted by gregorio at 10:03 PM

 
The next time I write to you, I will be a changed man. Tomorrow, I go to see Matrix, Revolutions. I do this willingly, so you won't hear me complain about how bad it is. I mean, really, I survived Gigly, how bad can this be?

Be scared. Be very a-scared
posted by gregorio at 9:24 PM

 
If you have been waiting for the New Yorker to finally accept unsolicited materials, you can take a breath now. After an interminable amount of time, the NYer is taking what you're giving, if you're writing for a living.
How did I find this out? Why, my newest favourite site, Gawker! Chock fulla all sorts of New York gossip, gossip,
gossip. Even the stuff you don't care about.

And my latest favourite word? Schmoozenfreude. How droll!
posted by gregorio at 4:54 PM

 
I have been vindicated!
As of late, I have been on a tea drinking jag. I have been trying to make at least four, maybe more days a week as "no soda" days, and at least three days as "no alchohol days." Instead, I have been drinking gallons of tea. It doesn't hurt that I just bought a new tea kettle and a teapot.

But recent studies have proven what I have been saying lately:
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/1028cancerstudy-ON.html

Ginger tea is also good. Maryann tea has made no comment.
posted by gregorio at 9:23 PM

 
Oh, and on a more tangible note: NOMAR!
posted by gregorio at 8:34 PM

 
If the Buddhists are correct, then every animate thing in our world is simply in a state it wishes itself to be. The ahtman, due to the good or bad karma, resonates a certain sensation, and we, in our incarnations, interpret these. So, in our current incarnation as humans, we see the world in a human way, and that is alright.

But to follow this logic, we must turn agian to Miss T, as he says we should come out as we want to be. Resonate as that person we wish to become, and we are that. Realize our inner selves, and transform the way we percieve the world. I can change my world by changing my attitude, and that has a certain comfort to it.
posted by gregorio at 8:33 PM

 
Saturday was National Coming Out day. This day is designed as a safe day, one in which closeted individuals are encouraged to pronounce themselves as gay, thus freeing themselves from psychic shackles. The safe day provided is for those to accept people as who they are, and it is in this spirit that my friend, Miss T., says that NCOD is not just for gay people; it is for everyone. He says it is just as appropriate, on this day, to come out as something you are not now, but wish to be. So, for example, if you are overweight, you can "come out as a thin person." If you are restless, you can "come out as a traveler." If you are unhappy, you can "come out as contented person" --- if that is your desire. And Miss T. says you can use all week to do this if you want.

So, what do you want to be? Me, I am coming out as an insanely wealthy, world travelling philanthropist.
posted by gregorio at 9:40 PM

 
Per fas et nefas!

Repeat this daily, make it your own.

This is the Latin equivillent of Malcom X's "By any means necessary!"

I adopt this as my own personal motto.
posted by gregorio at 8:09 PM

 
As I was walking home from dinner tonight, the calm, mid breeze and the sounds of crickets transported me to a more peaceful place. I could imagine myself sitting in a cafe, with a glass of nice wine in my hand, just watching the world scurry by.

So, your assignment this week: on a pleasant night this week, find a small, comfortable seat, and drink your favourite beverage. Just sit; donot ponder, think, or peruse. Just sit, and sip for an hour.

posted by gregorio at 7:49 PM

 
The lower Mid-Atlantic is bracing for Isabelle. Maryland has issued a preliminary state of emergency, the Red Cross has given up, and even those who have riden out major storms before are getting out of Dodge. Several Universities have already cancelled classes for tomorrow. And, I believe in my heart of hearts it will be bad rain and wind, especially wind. The festivities will be in full force in the evening.
My Prediction: Massive rain, the kind that makes you wonder what kind of kennel heaven has to dispel so many felines and canines, wicked wind, which would wow Thor, and the MSE to be open during all of it.

It is a good thing I know how to swim; I may need to do so in order to get back to my apartment.
posted by gregorio at 9:14 PM

 
On Sunday evening after work, I helped a man load all of his possessions into my storage locker in my apartment. I have stored there the entirety of his stuff, sans the clothes he had in suitcases. Why? Because I am a sucker. But why does he need this help? Because he is also a sucker.

The predator responsable for this mess is currently preying on someone else; he visits some chick with the entirety of his coke habit, his pill poping, his boozing, and his heroin habit. However, he does this miles away now, and despite owing my man several thousand dollars in back rent, has not seen fit to pay.

By the acts of one evil man, two lives are affected. Mark K. is a pathetic human, no doubt, and I did hesitate before offering the use of my locker. Fortunately, my embarrasment for having done so is abated somewhat by the fact that Viki Z. also helped him to move out, quite literally in the middle of the night.
She was witness to his fouled apartment, the stench, the (we hope dog) feces. I was merely muscle, lugging things from the U-Haul truck into my place from 10.30pm to almost 2am.

Further reflection leads me to believe that, despite protestations to the contrary, the belongings will be in my care for longer than three to four weeks, and my guess it will be closer to five to six months. If I decide to move in the next few months, he will have to think of another plan. "But, why does he not have a storage bin of his own?" you may wonder, rightly. "They are not so expensive!"
His claim is that the choice was truck or storage. What dire straits, one may ponder, but surely, he can come up with the dough if he saves enough? This presupposes there is an income that comes in. There is not.


It is very curious to see the sum of a mans life, I must confess. What he owns, what he refused to part with, what idiosyncratic turns of possesion. How much stuff do I have, and would I, could I part with any of it? But would I also not take pains to keep these safe from harm?

It is also curious that no one in Baltimore, save for me and Viki, and both of us by happenstance, have helped him out. Had I not gone to One World Cafe on Saturday night he would not have been able to save anything, and his life would be considerably more empty. Rather zen, but rather shabby too.


posted by gregorio at 8:22 PM

 
Bark no more Black Dog
Of my soul, and find another
Poor fool to torment

But she howls and
She continues to growl and
Wants the door open.

And she knows I'll do it.
posted by gregorio at 1:13 PM

 
If you have visited this site regularly, you will have noticed a flood of posts all of a sudden. Something is wrong with my site, and I don't know what it is.

If you are reading this, then it's ok.
posted by gregorio at 6:01 PM

 
I am a junky for words. The pattern of my life has led me to read, and I consume them as if they were the smack I need to make my life complete. I donot simply read, either, I drink in the words, as if it were a magical elixir to give me more hope and knowledge. And if I donot read every day, I become smaller and feel as if I have wasted the day.

The effects of a book on me are so great, that if I were denied the pleasure of reading my books, I would be dying inside.
posted by gregorio at 7:06 PM

 
I have decided that the next band I am involved with will have the name
"My Inner Child's Baby-Momma"

or I will not be involved with the project.
Not even remotely.
posted by gregorio at 7:24 PM

 
I took a bit of a holiday recently, from my job and from my normal activities. Origionally, my intenet was to trip to NYC--- by way of Newark--- and visit my friend J. In tears, she calls me Tuesday evening to tell me her plans had gone awry, as her employer found her so valuable as to require her presence in the Hamptons, and wait on them hand and foot.

This not only altered her trajectory, but mine as well.

Instead of NYC, I went to a cookout on Sunday and the Renaissance Festival on Labor Day with my favourite Koreans, the Parks. I got to stroll around in my puffy shirt, eat meat on a stick, and watch people go medieval. I also got to see Mr. P goose Mrs. P.

I can't wait to go with N and L, on Scottish weekend, where in addition to the puffy shirt I get to wear my kilt, and ride the oliphantes!

What else did I do? I ignored how my boss tried to make me feel guilty about taking time off, and got drunk. Very constructive use of my time, I think.
posted by gregorio at 8:37 PM

 
I don't think Gigli is the worst film I have ever seen. It certainly is disappointing, but not the worst.
That honour goes to films that are just plain stupid, not ones which fail to deliver, or ones thats fault is simply poor production values. Plan 9 From Outer Space is an example of the latter: the plot is pretty insane, but some of the dialog is inspired and meant to be thought provoking. Granted the acting is so stiff you could make a fence out of it, but basically it is a badly rushed movie, which, if given half a chance, could be done right. Ok maybe not that movie, but with better actors, or more takes, or something, it wouldn't be so.... mockable.

Gigli is wrong, because you have a good director directing badly, a good actor acting poorly, and J-Lo. Take away only one of these, and it would have been a much better flick. (I vote J-Lo.)

For the record, Freddie Gets Fingered is the worst, with Manos, Hand of Fate close behind. I would rather watch J-Lo perform Shakespeare than these abominations.
Can you see her as Juliet? I can, in my nightmares.

posted by gregorio at 8:39 PM

 
My archest of arch enemies tipped me off to this website:
vote to impeach the "president"
He recommends we sign the website. I will do better and recommend the same: print out the petition and GO OUT AND GET SIGNATURES!
Print out a few copies, let people who donot have internet access about the movement.
I will update you on this as I have news.
posted by gregorio at 2:32 PM

 
Yesterday, I received my copy of the 1977 classic, Star Wars Holiday Special. I have not been able to watch it all the way through, because it is two hours long, and it really should be watched in a group. So, even though it is only August, for all those interested, I will have a special viewing of this remarkably watchable copy of the show. Please let me know if you are interested in coming, and we can all figure out a time. Even if we cant do it until near Christmas, that is fine, since it is a holiday special.
The show itself is fairly interesting, and actually quite touching in some parts. It revolves around the Wookie tradition of "Life Day", I suppose analogous to Christmas on Kashyyyk, and the troubles Han Solo and Chewbacca have in coming home to a waiting, loving family. It also has the commercials from 1977, which is worth even more than the show in some ways, because it really tells us how much tv and capatalism have changed over the last 25 years. I had also forgotten that the premiere of Boba Fett was done in cartoon form, and I had mercifully forgotten two of the songs in the show. But now all of it is in my possession, and this treasure is worth gold to me.

And where, you may inquire, did i find this masterpiece? EBAY, of course!


posted by gregorio at 7:20 PM

 
Ever notice how you can say the meanest, cruelest things, and yet get away with it by adding the tag line,
"hey, I'm just trying to keep it real!"

Try it out. Be meaner than Joan Rivers at a fashion show. Be meaner than Joan Crawford at a wire coat-hanger factory. Make Mr T believe that he, himself, is worthy of pity.

And then, "hey man, I'm just trying to keep it real."

All will be forgiven.
posted by gregorio at 12:17 PM

 
Well, that job in special collections is a no-go. Well, they lose.

Therefore, we will work on "Fall In New York" in earnest, finish up my MLA, and plan my trip to China, all as I teach English composition at the GHCC.

Furthermore, in addition to aphorisms, we will also offer the occassional "You Ain't Never Gonna Hear" segments.
For example, YANGH: Erin C. say,"Aw, fucking rice AGAIN?!!!(because the inside joke on that is that EC once said, "God, it's been two days since I have eaten rice, I have to eat some.")
Or, Donald Rumsfeld: "Sit down, you look tired."--- because the inside joke on that is that DR thinks anyone
who sits is lazy. He, himself works, eats, and indubitably sleeps standing up.

I wish I could be making that up.

posted by gregorio at 1:23 PM

 
I had an awesome meeting today concerning the film I wish to produce/direct, Fall In New York. As I flesh out the details of the script, I hope to post some of it here, both for my own protection and your reading pleasure. Viki has promised to help me with dialogue, and, of course, any suggestions from you guys would be welcome indeed.

The meeting was with the person I hoped would be my lead actress, and she has agreed to do the part, which means now I have to get it together. But, I have had many good coincidences with the project so far, and this has been very encouraging. The more I work on it, the more it seems do-able. For example, I ran into a guy I have not seen for a while on Friday. Well, "running into" is and isn't correct to say, insofar as he is in the bar all the time, but I did not go there to talk to him specifically. When he heard how my life is going these days, and that I was working on this project, he volunteered to help, and also let me know that he knew some people connected with the Maryland Film Commission, which will help me big time.

Then, today, when I was talking to my lead, another guy approached me, saying he had overheard me talking. He is a photographer, and wants to get into film work too. He may well end up being my Director of Photography/Cinematographer.

Can you imagine if I pull this off? I waver between "Oh, Man! This is AWESOME!" and "I have no idea what the fuck I am doing."
I have a lot of support so far, and good people to help me. I may just be ok.

To quote Hannibal Smith, from the A-Team: "I love it when a plan comes together!"
posted by gregorio at 6:23 PM

 
I have been reading a lot about how to make movies, and I think I can pull this off.

Here is an interesting tidbit tho': in two different, disparate sources, I have read that dentists make the biggest suckers--- I mean investors--- for films. My friend K----a"s friend, whom I have met, is a dental hygenist, and therefore has access to these types. K is herself an accountant, or has been in the past, and can help with the money. So, all I gotta do is get all the pieces together, and film stardom, here I come!

My greatest hope is this:
1) become independant movie maker
2) become a film star myself
3) pick up the pieces when afleck and jlo split for good
4) profit!

I will then have enough money to hire someone to kill quentin tarrentino, and the world will be better for everyone.

posted by gregorio at 7:54 PM

 
I keep running into the same characters day after day. And not people I necessarily like either. The latest in a series of freak shows without the tent is this guy, Brooks. Not "Brook", nor "Brooke" but Brooks. He comes up to me, really out of the blue, and asks me if I can help him out with getting a job at the libarary. Now, don't forget, I want to leave the library myself. I am not about to go running around for anyone, let alone someone who just starts stealing my life away from me and not offering anything in return, trying to get them a job here. But here comes this guy, off the street, while I am eating my cheesesteak outside of CC's, having a good time chatting with the owner (the AWESOME Mr Park!), trying to get me to get him get a job.

So, ok, one chance encounter with one anoying idiot. But now, I can't shake him. THe next day I see him and he asks me, "Did you see Ken F. at the library and tell him about me?"
"No."
"Do you think you will soon?"
"No."
"Well, could you?"

No.

There's another guy I see all the time, a friend of a friend, who is around the neighborhood, and if I don't dodge him he will tell me ALL ABOUT HIS AA PROGRAMME, like I care. Do I see my friend? Never. But this one? ALL THE TIME. Not like once in a while either, it's got to be almost every other day.

And the worst thing is, I rarely run into people I want to see, or would like to see. I only get the nutballs.

As a final note, if I see Brooks again, and he asks me about getting a j-o-b at the MSE, I will look him square in the eye and ask him, "What do I get out of this?" Because there is nothing for free anymore with me, unless you are really my friend: someone I care about--- fewer and fewer people each day. Maybe I should make some sort of litmus test, to see if you are really a friend, or just someone I know. Please let me know your suggestions. If they are good, I will test run them, with results posted in the future.

But no matter what it is, why does my gut tell me Brooks will not pass it?

posted by gregorio at 9:27 PM

 
I find out on friday whether or not the job I applied to will become mine. I have worked in the Circulation Department for too many years, and feel I have wasted so much of my time in this crummy job. I have seen seven different co-workers come and go, and I really am not very fond of the ones I have now.

I still think I need a back up plan if this job doesn't pan out. If it does, I will be more than ecstatic. Basically, the project, which only lasts a year, lets me watch tv for a living. Now, when the grant ends in august 2004, so too the job, and I would be forced to find other employ. But there is nothing like not having a job that makes you want to get one.

However, my guess is that I will not be offered the possition. I have gone through the interview, which went not bad, but even though I believe I am the best candidate, others may disagree.

Therefore, I will be on pins and needles all week.
posted by gregorio at 8:58 PM

 
BOB HOPE IS FINALLY DEAD!
No longer will he be able to eat your skin. Or tell shitty jokes.

For a long while, I mourned Bill Hicks and Sam Kennison, cursing the fact that BH was still walking this earth. Now, if there is a comedy hell, I hope he is in it.
posted by gregorio at 7:49 PM

 
The spirit of Marcel Proust inveighed upon me to reflect on an over-heard comment by my boss. SHe invoked the long forgotten word (or rather, acronym) "CIT." For those of you who never went to camp, or have blocked the experience from your minds. CIT is "Counselor In Training," a nebulous concept designed to appease those older kids who are stuck in kkkamp all summer long. I have met some of these people and nobody liked them, usually because they were obnoxiously insistent that they were more mature, or more knowledgable, or just plain better than the rest of us. In retrospect, they were probably compensating for lonliness or a sense of a lack of power in their own lives by laying a "power trip", as best they could, on campers there for only two or four weeks.

But boy, did I hate them then.
posted by gregorio at 8:43 PM

 
I recently bought several toy soldiers. They rock.
My army groweth.
posted by gregorio at 10:51 AM

 
long time, no post. blogger has changed format a little, so it is hard to get a handle on it. i will be more communicative in the week after next, for i go into the land time forgot: springfield mass.

see you in a week!

posted by gregorio at 7:54 PM

 
Ann Coulter has gone too far this time. I can understand how she can hate Hillary Clinton, as Senator Clinton is sometimes strident and abrasive; however, she has the good of the people at heart. I think Coulter hates Clinton mostly because Clinton is a more successful, more intelligent and more connected woman than Coulter is.

But now, more than simply writing a screed against a percieved enemy, Coulter is now attempting to re-write history for the Republicans.
Viz:
"If any other religious cult knew so few basic facts about its own seminal beliefs as the liberal cult does about Joe McCarthy, Janet Reno would gas them.

Despite the left’s creation of a myth to defeat legitimate charges of treason, McCarthy had so badly stigmatized Communism, his victory survived him. In his brief fiery ride across the landscape, Joe McCarthy bought America another thirty years. For this, he sacrificed his life, his reputation, his name. The left cut down a brave man, but not before the American people heard the truth.
McCarthy was not tilting at windmills. Soviet spies in the government were not a figment of right-wing imaginations. He was tilting at an authentic Communist conspiracy that had been laughed off by the Democratic Party."
-from Treason
WHO WILL STEP UP TO STOP THIS MENACE CALLED ANN COULTER?
Who will challenge her every argument?
You may now start to sub-title this blog: The Ann Coulter Lie Disentangler.

and believe me, this is going to be a hellava job.






posted by gregorio at 9:17 AM

 
Barbie is not a lesbian, although I think Ken is.
posted by gregorio at 5:19 PM

 
If the information on the following website, www.annabelchong.com/ is true, then my life is a little emptier. Grace Quek as a computer geek? No longer a porn star? Gone legit? Getting screwed in a totally new, and probably less fufilling way? No more of her kinda sorta feminist porn?

I go away to Ireland and this happens. I blame the president non-elect.

And, what is up with that chicken? Flummoxed indeed.
posted by gregorio at 3:29 PM

 
I flew in from Ireland yesterday, and boy. Are my arms tired. I have recorded all the things I did on the trip for posterity, and will regale all my (what, two, three?) readers with gorey details in the future. I will comment on the voyage in the next few weeks. I can, without fear of equivication, now say I have been bitten by the travel bug. I now will begin planning a trip to China, Japan and Korea. Again, the travel log will accompany me.

I have also learned a few things:
a) US AIR sucks dirty green donkey ass
b) carry on your clothes, and wash them when they get dirty, so you can have more
c)avoid connecting flights whenever and wherever possible.

Lastly, IRELAND WAS AWESOME AND I HATE LIKE FUCK I HAD TO COME BACK
posted by gregorio at 8:48 PM

 
Ireland awaits. I am nervous for the flight, and will not be fine about it until I land. The weather will be rain. But I knew that going in. Worse, I have anticipated and planned this for so long, that I fear that, just like everything else, I will be disappointed. Plus, I worry how much I will forget. To this end, I will try to write down what I do each day, impressions, thoughts etc. My own travel diary, so that when I am alzheimeristic in the years to come, I can reflect on how my trip was.
posted by gregorio at 6:34 PM

 
I am pleased to say I had an excellent time turning 34. I started the day of my natal anniversary at One World Cafe, had a celebratory drink, (ok, drinks) then woke up to teach, to hang out at my apartment, drink rice wine, watch pr0n then Office Space* We went to Ban Thai and had good food. We ended up in One World again, so I began and ended the evening at that bar. Tomorrow I will discuss how much of a drunk I have become.


"Yeah, hi, um Peter. ahhhh, Did you get that memo? Ah..yeah, it's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out. So, if you could go ahead and start doing that, that would be great. Mmmmkay?
posted by gregorio at 10:00 PM

 
There is no revolution on a full stomach.
posted by gregorio at 7:04 PM

 
I agree with Faustus*: the bravest man is the one who can honestly admit: I have no idea what you are talking about.


*cf. may 12, 2003
posted by gregorio at 8:43 PM

 
Not for the first time lately, to my chagrin, have i agreed with db. The latest in this horrific trend is that, indeed, those who plan weddings these days (and this is not limited to the brides to be, but a whole industry, and mothers) are filled with greed. John, my older cousin, got married to a brassy broad who fills the bill of both definitions of the term, "broad." They extorted from my parents both shower and wedding gifts, and very close together, and very close to Christmas.

Jacquie (sic), the younger of the two, is more considerate. She will be wed in September, but has the good form to have the shower now, presumably so that after recovering from dropping $75, one may pony up the same in a few months. Furthmore, it is not near a major holiday of gift buying tradition. So, in this respect, it is far easier on the wallet. Yet, the shaddow of avarice still haunts the occassion.

I have, fortunately, not only dodged both bullets by being off the radar of both J and J, but also use my bagpiping talents to avoid paying for gifts at the nuptual events of friends. In a way, i am the one screwed: maybe what i should do is buy a gift and charge my usual fee of $300. I am certain i would be ahead of the deal.
Perhaps a frame would be good to give, maybe from the dollar store.

No, definitely from the dollar store!
posted by gregorio at 10:00 AM

 
I discused this with VZ and FS. Here's

WHAT I LOOK FOR IN A WOMAN

1. Female
2. Not too crazy
3.Female
4. Heartbeat
5.Under 50
6. Well, 45
7. Female
8. Speaks a language
9. Female.
posted by gregorio at 9:17 PM

 
The true patriot lets his stomach turn because of his neighbor's views, rather than turn over his neighbor for those views.
posted by gregorio at 5:12 PM

 
If a train leaving San Francisco travels east at 140 mph, and a train from Baltimore travels west at 157 mph, what time will the butterfly scream because life is meaningless?
posted by gregorio at 7:56 PM

 
Ladies: if a man does not ever try to look at your breasts, he is gay. And, you should consider it complementary if a man tries to look down your shirt.
posted by gregorio at 4:27 PM

 
If it sounds stupid, it probably is stupid. In addition, if it is poorly written, it is probably thought out poorly. Using jargon is poor writing.
posted by gregorio at 3:31 PM

 
from now on, most of my blog will, in all likelyhoood, consist of aphorisms, such as the following:


Unless you know the person, reading a blog is just not fun or funny.

i can be a new rochefoucalt, or nietzsche, or latham. or something.
-ed.
posted by gregorio at 8:17 PM

 
Some people may think being hit by a car is fun. It's not, believe me.
posted by gregorio at 7:01 PM

 
Old and busted: "I can't believe this is my life!"

New Hotness: "I can't believe I am going to Ireland!"

I applied for my passport a mere three weeks ago, and the Man sent it to me Thursday. I am going to Ireland!
posted by gregorio at 9:23 PM

 
At least jury duty wasn't a complete waste of time. I got to study some chinese, practice writing same. Got $15 for my trouble, so I went to Quisnos (not to my taste, I like Blimpies better), got some lunch on the man's dime, and with the remainder bought a spanish grammar book. Quoth Viki: Al fino!

Sat in the room, didn't get called for a trial, went home. Then the next day my boss got mad at me for not leaving her a message reminding her (even though I told her, oh, maybe fifty times that I had jury duty tuesday) that I would not be at work, due to civic duty.

Because people don't pay attention to a goddam thing I say, the opinion was that, not having shown up to work,I had died, in a murderous attack.

Alas, no.
posted by gregorio at 2:31 PM

 
Easter Sunday, from now on, will be treated by me as a holiday, where I do not go to work. It will, instead, be a day where I eat ham, and lots of it.
Or lamb.
Probably both.

On another note, Bob Hope had his "100th" Birthday Party last night. Sam Kinnison, Bill Hicks, they're dead. Bob Hope however, is still alive.

BOB HOPE WILL EAT YOUR SKIN!
posted by gregorio at 3:19 PM

 
2000 years ago the proudest boast was, "quivis romanus sum."
Today, in the world of fear, the bravest post is: "Ich bin ein Berliner."

(sorry, jfk.)
posted by gregorio at 9:22 PM

 
-I want a hamburger. No, a CHEESEburger. And, a hot dog, and a milkshake and a sundae......

-YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!


ahhhh. Ted Knight at his finest.


posted by gregorio at 9:22 PM

 
the truest thing i have read in a while is on this site: http://www.gapingvoid.com/

viz, "when a girl says, 'let's just be friends', what she really means is, 'please fill in the gaps left by the guys i'm currently fucking.'"
sage, sage words.
posted by gregorio at 5:07 PM

 
As long as everyone is writing about MW, here are my two cents: he's a punk. Any man who busts the rap of any other man is a punk, and that's what he did to me. Oh, and I am also tired of the phrase: "yellow fever." Unless you or someone you know have malaria, I don't wanna hear it.
posted by gregorio at 9:07 PM

 
You may or may not have noticed I have not contributed anything to this diary for many a while. I have found it very hard to find interesting things to say, or witty ripotes to make, and I don't think any will be coming soon. I give you fair warning that this blog will cease to be very soon.
Sorry.
g.
posted by gregorio at 5:18 PM

 
Saturday night was a blast! Myself, Doug, Viki, her Brother, and his new Girlfriend went to Crazy Lil's. This restaurant in Federal Hill is now owned by my archnemesis' brother, Tim, who looks very much like the Fiend--- with the noticible difference of Tim's far more human countenance. After dining here, we proceeded, sans Douggie, to quest for karaoke. Now, earlier in the day, my student Esther had given me a sheet of possible places for singing our heart out, and one of them is called the Rainbow Lounge. (Now, before any of you start envisioning gay Korean night, this place had none of the panache one would perhaps mentally associate with a far eastern version of the American meetingplace of homosexualists. I do not know of any gay Korean bars, and while I am certain that there is a place for gay Koreans and Korean-Americans, I doubt that this is it.) She had a piece of paper with all the listings of places to go karaokeing, and this was a locale on the list which was fairly accessible. Or so we thought.

As we finished dining at Crazy Lil's, my other friends Lynda and Carolyn made point, and arrived there about half hour before we. They were no there when we arrived. Where were they? Well, as they could not get into the place, they bolted. We four approached the door, rang both buzzers available, and, after what seemed to be a while, were buzzed into the joint. We went into the hallway, where, from the top of a set of stairs, we were waved up by Korean lady who had too much makeup on, and who seemed to be someone who my mother would probably lable "fast" (a nice 1950's word, which has a connotation of trampiness to it, without coming outright and saying it). We ascended heavenwards, were led into a small private room with a book, a t.v. and some microphones, and were told that, yes, we would be able to sing American (read, "in
English") songs. This seemed a little sketchy to us at the time, and we fled. Now, while walking up, I tried calling Lynda, to check her whereabouts, and she called back to tell us they had left, because they had not felt comfortable either, and were en route to a bar on Eastern Ave. called Kelly's. Kelly's, according to my research on Sunspot, had karaoke too, but with a decidedly American flavour. I recommended that we also head there, and so we ran to the car to escape the frigid air, and drove over.

This place rocks. We were encouraged to sing, we did, we had a blast. We even got there early enough so that each of us who wished to do so could sing a couple of times. It has a mixture of country, classic rock, contemporary, and some "music-of-your-life" (Sinatra et alia). We sang our hearts out. I did a great rendition of Mack the Knife, in Satchmo, not Bobby Darrin style, tho' the music was the latters, not the formers. This was an instant hit. We saw a woman in a fur coat and sneakers (Tacky!), we saw older people dressed up in suits, and rowdy young people, all of us singing and dancing. Lynda and Carolyn have proclaimed this as their new joint, for both have been looking for a good place to sing karaoke for a while. And, of course, who delivers? Greggie G.

On a sadder note, Al Hirschfeld passed away today. Here is a gallery of his work.

posted by gregorio at 7:19 PM

 


Today's lecture will begin with some word on behalf of the benefits of a nice cuppa. (For those who only speak american, this means " a delicious cup of tea")
For the most part, Americans eschew tea for the more potent coffee drinks. Tea, however offers quite the health benefit, with green teas having antioxidents--- great cancer fighting agents.

But get anyone from the commonweath nations involved in the conversation, and it can turn almost as acrimonious as the drink itself. George Orwell has strong views of the subject, and will only drink the Indian varieties. In fact here are his steps to making "A Perfect Cup of Tea"Jean-Luc Picard was famous for his "Earl Grey: hot." and here a word from Tea Muse about how we msut erase all mysticism and exoticism from tea (presumably they mean green teas, as black tea (e.g., lipton) has no exoticity to it whasoever):Tea Vow of Chastity

We all remember the trouble Alice had with tea drinkers, but this should not make us shy in partaking of the potable.
But for me, a decent cup of tea (in Ireland, "a daysent cuppa") evokes this elegy:

A quiet corner,
A steaming cup.
Steam streams seems fairly fairylike,
Drink it up!

Final thought, of when I go to Japan, I hope to have my tea served to me in the ceremony at least once. delicious!

posted by gregorio at 5:46 PM

 

first, a note
next, a feeling
finally, a list:


1.find lots of url tags
2.make them available to the blog
3. use them with abandon





And with this next sort of thing, I will just jibber jabber to find a format. Hooray for me! I am doing HTML! How cute! How clever! How exciting! At least this bit of experimentation will hopefully prove to make this blog a more welcome place to visit.






Or not.




posted by gregorio at 5:55 PM

 
I'M BACK!

After a long hiatus of more than just the twelve days of XMass, I come back rested, ready and primed for action! With the end of the season with Epiphany, I can take down my paltry little tree, and gear up for the new year. So, since I have been away from this blog for so long, I will bring up more than one issue:

First, I want to extend a happy New Year to all of us. Michael T. (Miss T.) says that we should, instead of making resolutions, come out as something each year. This can consist of the traditional type of coming out (e.g., that one is gay); it can consist of admitting to others what they already know about you, but you have not had the courage to say yet; and it can also be the proclaimation of what one wishes to be.
I am coming out as a thin man this year.

Secondly, why are so many muscians covering 70's songs all of a sudden? The Dixie Chixies (I know, but that is how I think of them when I do) come out with Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. Then we have good ol' Uncle Kracker (n.b., this site is a little annoying) doing a version of (the completely underappreciated) Dobie Gray's Drift Away; a song that seems to have been covered by nearly eveyone else in this world. And, if this were not enough, Counting Crows does a cover of Joni Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi! What's next, Sarah Maclaughlin doing Heart of Glass? Alanis Morrisette doing Year of the Cat? Michael Jackson sings Dancing in the Moonlight?How far will the music industry push our gullability? It only goes to prove a theory of mine: just as you think you have hit rock bottom, the ledge gives way, and you start falling again.

And, finally, how much can I pay any of you to find it in your heart to wield a weapon of sufficient caliber and force, so that a projectile of no less than .22 finds itself lodged sufficiently and squarely through the third eye of Ann Coulter? Can someone please rid the world of this shrill shill of the Republican radical right? How much longer must we suffer her "books" and other writings? When the revolution comes, she is one of the first to go. And this is saying something, because, as many of you know, that when the revolution comes I believe that there is not enough wall to line them all up against. I will have to have some of them build new wall, so I can them put them up against it. Coulter need not worry; we're taking care of her first.
posted by gregorio at 5:07 PM